It doesn't take an expert to understand that cash is such a lot of quiet dollars and cents. Our relationship with money is emotional. Hopes and fears, guilt and shame — they will all play a big role in your financial life.
And those feelings are often tied to a lot of things: our upbringing, our surroundings, plus, y' know, all the cash messaging within the world and therefore the media.
But honing those feelings and creating your own strong, secure financial voice? That takes some expertise.
Tiffany Aliche, better referred to as The Budgetnista, maybe a financial expert, educator, and author of the new book Get Good With Money (out March 30). Her book may be a super practical guide to getting your financial house to realize what Aliche calls financial wholeness. It's based on ten pillars: budgeting, savings, debt, credit, learning to earn, investing, insurance, net worth, getting your financial team in situ, and estate planning.
Her book dives deep into each of those topics, but Aliche says this process begins with understanding your own financial identity and therefore the many feelings and environmental forces that shape it. "For me, money is more mindset than dollars and coins," she says.
We can all, says Aliche, get good with money — we just need to get good with our feelings, first. Read on for tips for accessing your emotions around money, and learning to strengthen your financial voice. This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
Andee Tagle: You mention how you want to sleep in the state of monetary fear, and you say that financial wholeness is that the cure thereto financial fear, or financial trauma. I like that concept. How does one define that term?
Tiffany Aliche: I define financial wholeness as when all aspects of your financial life, and there is ten that we lean into truly — when all of those aspects of your financial life are working congruently for what I prefer to call your greatest good, your biggest benefit and your richest life. I might say financial freedom is for the few, but financial wholeness is for everybody. It doesn't matter what proportion you create. It doesn't matter what you are doing for a living. It doesn't matter how old you're. Financial wholeness is often achieved by everyone. then it's just a holistic view of what to try to do with my money and the way to maximize and make the foremost of it.
I want to speak a touch bit about the emotions behind money. I loved what you had to mention about being conscious of the influences in our life which may affect our habits and our financial voice. I do know in my very own life, for instance, I immediately considered how my dad was always super, super frugal. You know, he asked for discounts wherever we went. That's a very valuable skill, but as a child, I just remember feeling so embarrassed. then now as an adult, I just have zero haggling ability and, you know, probably I'm worse off for it. How can we break those habits?
So one among the items I illustrate within the book is one, acknowledging that you simply see that habit. So that's first. you cannot break something that you simply don't acknowledge and see: what's the habit that I'm seeing in myself? Then, two, exploring where it came from. And so, bravo to you again, Andee for recognizing, 'OK, this is often from Dad,' you know. then three, practicing during a safe environment.
So what I might tell you, is don't be concerned about the financial haggling for now. You know, if you're not haggling financially, you would possibly be uncomfortable with asking the waiter for extra cheese—
Oh, 100 percent. I can never send a sandwich back.
Okay, so that's a baby step. So it's like, sending something back or even just posing for something additional like, 'Oh am I able to also get that,' because what you would like to try to do is you would like to practice advocating for yourself. Because it's hard to leap into the financial application if you are not ready to advocate for yourself in small, little ways.
That's great advice. I would like to speak a touch bit about mindful spending. are you able to break down the various priorities people should be brooding about for us?
Absolutely. It's: Do I want it? Do I like it? Do I prefer it? Would I like it? We already know needs: food, shelter, clothing, water. belongings you must need to maintain your health and safety. Second, are your loves. Loves will still offer you joy six months to a year from now. Likes offer you temporary joy, in under six months you would possibly not remember. and needs are fleeting.
So what I would like people to try to do is to lean into the primary half the equation, your needs, and your loves. So you would like to require care of your health and safety and loves that offer you lasting joy, and less money toward likes and needs — not no money, but the extra money you spend on likes and needs, the less money you've got for needs and loves.
You tell this great story within the book and it's about saying no to brunch together with your girlfriends for a really specific reason. are you able to share that story with us?
Yes, so friends of mine would attend brunch every Sunday and it had been maybe, say, 30 to 50 bucks whenever. And at some point, I noticed I wanted to travel on vacation, but I did not have any money.
And then when [my friend called] and was like, 'Hey, girl, you would like to travel to brunch?' i assumed to myself, that's where my money is going! and that I realized brunch isn't love on behalf of me because I do not even remember what we ate last week. I used to be spending my money on her loves.
Now, it isn't her fault because she was doing what she was alleged to do, spend her money on her love. But she was convincing me to try to do so also. So I ended going and that I almost made it sort of a drinking game. whenever somebody said "brunch," I put that cash in my bank account.
And then once I had enough, I used it to travel on my first solo trip. I wanted to travel to Albuquerque because it is the hot air balloon capital of the planet and I have never ridden a hot air balloon. then now I learned that I'm not saying no to brunch, I'm saying yes to Morocco. I'm not saying no to brunch, I'm saying yes to India. I'm saying yes to Monaco. then I always encourage people to try to do an equivalent. I would like you to use your money to measure an actual richer, more joyful life. I would like you to form sure you are not using your money towards someone else's idea of affection.
So, Tiffany, you came from a household where you were talking about money all the time. But what about people where that wasn't the case? How can we get comfortable talking about money?
You're right. I feel the typical person didn't have these conversations reception. So how does one naturally do that? you've got to seek out a secure environment to try to do so. it'd just be a gaggle of your girlfriends where you've said, like, 'I would love you to be my accountability partner and I am just getting to mention money with you.' And if you do not know anybody in your physical real world, there are digital folks that you simply can lean into and virtual folks that you'll lean into.
I speak freely ahead of my friends about money intentionally because I'm always trying to make a secure environment: 'I'm not getting to judge; I do not know what's right or wrong for you, I'm just here to present you with the maximum amount knowledge as possible so you'll choose the proper choice for yourself.' To confirm that when you are looking for these safe spaces, that that is the energy you get.
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